Trust....

Recently someone complained that I did not fully trust them, and that I had no reason to distrust. True. I do not have reason to distrust, but what is to say that I have reason to trust either? I was raised in a family where you could not trust much... In fact, I was raised around skilled and pathological liars. Seriously, this is true.... or is it? Hahahaha!!! But in all seriousness, every word that my father spoke had to be taken with a grain of salt... same thing with my grandmother. My brother and I still laugh about how my Dad said that he preferred to call it "embellishment" instead of lying... So it shouldn't really come as a surprise that I don't trust easily. To be honest, I am not sure that there is anyone at all that I place complete trust in--not even my family. No offense.

Maybe that is why I can't seem to find any faith either. Trust and faith... two things I do not have. Really they are sort of the same thing aren't they? I would like to someday have them I suppose. But I'm not sure how to get them... Most of the time I am fine with being distrustful and faithless. Hm. I did talk to my therapist about this today... not really the trust part... more about faith... Anyway, it leaves me with something to think about.

I wonder if I even trust myself completely... well I know that I am basically an honest person. Unfortunately, that sometimes gets me into trouble. But, do I trust myself to do the right thing? Make the right decisions? Always be able to take care of myself and my children? Sometimes I do. But a lot of the time I question myself and criticize myself. Maybe that is why I hate for others to criticize me.... I'm critical enough of myself. I don't need any help in that department. Maybe in the end the only person you can trust is yourself. Who knows....

(trst)

n.

1. Firm reliance on the integrity, ability, or character of a person or thing.

2. Custody; care.

3. Something committed into the care of another; charge.

4.

a. The condition and resulting obligation of having confidence placed in one: violated a public trust.

b. One in which confidence is placed.

5. Reliance on something in the future; hope.

6. Reliance on the intention and ability of a purchaser to pay in the future; credit.

7. Law

a. A legal title to property held by one party for the benefit of another.

b. The confidence reposed in a trustee when giving the trustee legal title to property to administer for another, together with the trustee's obligation regarding that property and the beneficiary.

c. The property so held.

8. A combination of firms or corporations for the purpose of reducing competition and controlling prices throughout a business or an industry.

v. trust·ed, trust·ing, trusts

v.intr.

1. To have or place reliance; depend: Trust in the Lord. Trust to destiny.

2. To be confident; hope.

3. To sell on credit.

v.tr.

1. To have or place confidence in; depend on.

2. To expect with assurance; assume: I trust that you will be on time.

3. To believe: I trust what you say.

4. To place in the care of another; entrust.

5. To grant discretion to confidently: Can I trust them with the boat?

6. To extend credit to.