Adventures of Two Sisters, One Brother, and a Mom: August 2009

Saturday, August 29, 2009

No Time To Be Lazy...

Ooh.... I am desperately trying to wake up. I passed out on the couch last night--- lights on, no covers... I was just plain exhausted. I have been so tired every night this week... I have been trying to fend off a cold, so I guess that's why.... Last night The kids and I met The Pixie and her boy for dinner at a little Mexican restaurant. The kids were loud.... as usual. I had to force myself to finish my Margarita- that is not normal for me. I haven't been drinking much at all this week. That is a good thing... since I am certainly a borderline alcoholic. :) It is actually refreshing to go to bed with out being in wine induced haze. Don't think I get drunk every night... No, I just usually have a glass of wine or two before bed... that is enough to get that drowsy, lazy feeling. I'm not sure why I don't feel the need to drink... maybe it's the cold. I do go through periods like this though. Times when I just don't enjoy drinking.

This has really been a very strange week. I am glad it is over. Today, I have to get this house cleaned and get ready for Little A's Birthday Party tomorrow. It is crunch time!!!! I have no choice. No time to be lazy. So I should get off of this damn computer and get to work... I need to get back some control of this place. Honestly, I have been feeling down this week, and I think part of it is due to the mess. A clean house always makes me feel better...

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Fresh Air And Cake....

This past weekend was pretty fun filled.... Saturday Little A had a Birthday party to go to... maybe I'll post photos later-- Then, on Sunday, I took my kids and The Pixie's son to Piedmont Park. We had a great time! First we ate at Willy's... Of course I had to have a little Margarita... Then after our late lunch, we walked around the park for a while. As usual, we ended up at the playground. The kids ran around like banshees while I tried to keep track of them... Four children running in different directions... not an easy task! Annie came to the park with her dog Lola. She and I sat by the playground talking while the kids continued to run amok. They were running, jumping, climbing, throwing, and just generally being rambunctious.... They were having fun. I got tired just watching them... Later, we all made our way to Park Tavern to meet the Pixie. Annie came along too. It took quite a while to get across the park because the kids kept stopping along the way to pet dogs, roll down hills, and wrestle... The Pixie had to wait a bit... We adults had drinks while the kids continued to play on the lawn. We ate appetizers for dinner and finally left as the sun was setting. It was a great afternoon.

Monday was J's birthday. After school, the kids and I headed over to the Pixie's house for dinner and cake. We ended up spending the night due to the late hour. J had a good time and got lots of cool gifts. The kids got nice and sugared up before bed... always fun for Mommy.

The rest of the week has been nothing to write about... nothing at all. Hopefully this next weekend will be better. Little A and J are going to be having a joint Birthday Party at a local park. Nana should be coming into town... the kids should have fun. I'm sure I will too... I hope anyway. Summer is over and life is getting back to the usual grind... I guess that's a good thing. I'm not sure. We'll see how the Fall goes... But it was a good Summer... I ended up having a much better time than I had anticipated.

Taking Turns Pushing The Swing

Little A Loves To Climb!!!

Big A's Turn To Swing

Big A Climbs Highest Of All

She's Just Too Cute!!!

Even D Reaches New Heights...

Annie Wonders WTF???

Poor Lola Was Such A Good Sport!!!

J Sports The
Dog Collar...

The Pixie And Little A

Our View Of Sunset From Park Tavern....

Lights Of Midtown...

Silly Birthday Boy!!!

The Pixie Takes The Cake....

Blowing Out the Candles...

Showing Hanz The Missing Tooth...

Time To Open Presents....

Good Stuff!!!!

Thanking Mommy For The DS!!!!

A Good Birthday!!!

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

A New World.....

I want to post some photos, but right now I just don't have the energy... I am sooo tired tonight. I really need to go to bed, but my mind is not ready to rest.... too many thoughts. It was not a good day. No need to go into the details. Just a bad day all around... although the weather was absolutely beautiful. All day I went around with a knife sticking in my heart.... at least that is how I felt. That tight chested feeling.... heart beating fast.. anxiety. My hands were shaking and my mind was wandering, and I just couldn't get it together. Just a sad day... But, when I picked up my children from aftercare, I felt sooo much better. I felt safe. Funny how the kids who so often drive me crazy, can also calm me down. I just wanted to hug and kiss them all... and smell their little heads and tell them that they are the best thing that I have ever done. They are my reason. They look to me for safety and love. They think of me as all knowing--- except when Big A is in one of her argumentative moods.... They don't see my flaws. They just love me unconditionally. And I love them unconditionally. And I always will. They make me feel safe and warm and home. I hope I make them feel that way... When I'm sad, they make me laugh--- it is very entertaining to listen to them recount the events of their day... I really wish that I could again see the world through a child's eyes. It seems like it is so colorful and animated and new and clean... Yeah, now I'm babbling... Maybe my mind is finally winding down. Maybe I can get some sleep now. Maybe I'll try to remember what a new, fresh, clean world feels like.... Maybe I'll have some good dreams tonight.

Sunday, August 23, 2009

On A Lighter Note....

Boy... that last post was pretty dark, so I thought I would post another, more lighter one, before I go off to bed. This is what my kids were doing tonight at bedtime... A Saturday night sleepover.... Fun!!! :)

I love my children!!!!!

Saturday, August 22, 2009

The Dark Side....

I am NOT in a good mood... I'm not even sure why. I guess because I am sitting here at home alone on a Saturday night... trapped. I need a babysitter. I need to get out. My friend Annie called earlier and was complaining about not having anyone to go out with tonight. Shit, I thought... I would LOVE to go out with her. But, alas, my kids are tucked safely in their beds with no one to watch them but me. The Pixie is at her house drinking with the Kenyans, must be nice. Someone to talk to. Not me, I'm sitting on my couch typing on this stupid computer, looking at my filthy house--- the one I should have cleaned during my days off this week. But, I didn't... I will this week. For sure. Man, I am feeling really pissy. Maybe it is a good thing I am alone--- I am likely to start a fight. Too bad. You would think that I would be spending my weekend night with my girlfriend---- since it is such a pain in the ass to spend the night together during the week. At least it is for me. I have three kids to pack for and get up and out the door in the morning to school. I spent the night Thursday.. after working all day. And in my haste to get the kids' clothes packed and get over there in time for them to get to bed by 8:00pm, I forgot to get something that Little A needed for class. She was supposed to bring something that starts with "F" for show-n-tell. Yeah, I know that it may not seem like a big deal, but it was a big deal to her and I let her down. That made me feel like shit.

It is such a balancing act trying to take care of my children's needs and take care of my own needs at the same time. I am not good at it. The children's needs should always come first... It was soooo much simpler when I felt nothing. No need for adult love, no lust, no need for any of that romantic shit. All I wanted to do was be a Mommy. I was numb and I liked it. Yes, I have said this repeatedly.... but things sure were simpler. I guess simpler is not always better though. I know that the Pixie is good for me and is everything that I could wish for in a girlfriend, and I do love her, so don't think I am complaining at all about her. It is just hard to juggle two families. In fact, it is a pain in the ass. At least it is sometimes.... Like I said, I am in a very bad mood tonight... it will go away by morning. I'll be back to my "laughing" self again tomorrow. The dark side will be kept under wraps and people will comment on how happy I seem and how I laugh and joke all the time.... My clients will love me, my friends will confide in me, my girlfriend will give me kisses, and my kids will talk incessantly about everything under the sun, and I will listen and smile. Goodnight.

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

My Baby's Birthday Adventures!!!!

My Baby is Four years old..... unbelievable!!!! She had a great birthday on Sunday. We started our day by going to church with the Pixie.... Then we all went to The Loop for pizza. That was Little A's choice for her Birthday meal. Every year, the kids get to pick what they want to eat on their Birthdays.... Little A chose pizza. Simple and inexpensive. I like that.

After lunch, we all came back to my house to get ready for Little A's Birthday celebration. The Pixie made Little A a very DELICIOUS cake!!!! And I mean delicious! Little A was very pleased. After cake, The Pixie, her sister, and the kiddos took turns dancing with each other... very funny! Then Little A got to open her presents! She was pretty excited about the whole thing. Yep. All in all Little A had a great Birthday. And that is good.