Well, this week has been a blur of work, online classes, and studying for me... I am really feeling the pressure with this acupuncture course I am taking. I wasted about three weeks of it by being depressed about stupid things and situations, and busy with kid stuff--- Big A's birthday, D's surgery, etc. So, I am working under a bit of pressure... I used to think I worked best under pressure, but I am not sure that is the case anymore. My brain is not as focused as it once was, and concepts don't sink in like they did when I was younger... not to mention that I am having to completely relearn my way of thinking about the body and its systems to learn the theories behind TCVM... It really is hard for me to grasp for some reason... I am obviously very ingrained in the Western way of thinking... very mechanistic... So now I have to suspend all of what I have learned and believe about medicine, and learn this "new" way of thinking about the body... and the universe for that matter. It will be good for me. I just wish I wasn't going to be tested on it... Haha!
Last night Big A went to a birthday party at the house of an "ex" friend... I say ex-friend because she told me the other day that she had no interest in being my friend any longer... to my face. I had gone over there to try to make up, or ease tension over our "disagreement?" But she had no interest in this and told me so in no uncertain terms. She did say that she would be "perfectly nice" to me next time she saw me though... instead of ignoring me like she has been doing... Well, there is not much more I can say about that. I dropped Big A off, and did not get invited in for a drink like the rest of my friends did, and when I picked her up, she was, in fact, "perfectly nice" to me just like any other mother who was a mere acquaintance would have been. So that was that. I am not going to lie and say that I didn't feel a bit sad and hurt by this... although I am trying not to. I know that I have done all that I could possibly do to get back our "friendship", and the issue is not with me, it is with her... so I have no choice but to let it go, and try not to care. But, of course I do care. I wish I didn't, but I do. I just have to remind myself that I still have very good friends who care about me, and this person is probably going to be someone I barely remember ten years from now.... Each time I think about it, I just have to remind myself that this situation is not one that I should worry about--- I have way way more important things to worry about in my life. That is that.
