A Happy Thanksgiving....

It has been a busy week... Last weekend Nana came into town to attend Thanksgiving Lunch at the kid's schools. Big A and D had a Thanksgiving celebration at their school last Thursday. I had to work, so Nana came down to eat with them. Little A's Thanksgiving Lunch was the next day. Nana stayed until Saturday night. We had a very fun visit with her. On Sunday, we raked and bagged the millions of leaves in the yard. D was actually a very big help with the raking-- he said he had done it in "My Russia".

We had a very good Thanksgiving Day! Sheila came over to spend the day with us. She took the kids for a nice long walk while I finished cooking dinner. Later, we all absolutely stuffed ourselves, and then we all took a nap... Later we lit a fire and watched a movie. A nice relaxing day!

Today, I had to take the kids to work with me--no school. They actually behaved fairly well. The morning was busy, but the afternoon was slow, so the kids could play in the lobby and watch movies. Tonight we ate leftovers and watched another movie. Now the kids are all in their sleeping bags supposedly sleeping-- what they don't know is that I can hear them talking and wrestling. Soon, I may have to break up the "sleepover"...

Thanksgiving Photo Frames

Made By Big A And D...

Yummy Thanksgiving Feast!!!

Mommy Is Thankful For Her

Beautiful Children!!!

Our Centerpiece

(The top turkey was made by Little A,

The bottom turkeys were made by D and Big A)

Photos from our day in the leaves.....

Buried In A Sea Of Leaves

Adventures in Vertigo...

The last few days have been a bit of a blur... I woke up with a terrible case of vertigo on Monday. I guess I've got another inner ear infection. I spent the better part of Monday and Tuesday in bed. Today I feel much better, although my ears actually hurt worse today, I am not nearly as dizzy, and the nausea is gone. I started myself on antibiotics yesterday, so I guess they are helping. You would think that I would have started them on Monday, since I regularly get ear infections, but of course I didn't. Chances are I won't take a full course of antibiotics either-- just doing my part to promote resistant bacteria... I'm lame, I admit it.

Adventures On Ice...

Today we had quite an adventure. Or at least I did... The PTA at the elementary school held an ice skating event at a local rink. Since the kids have never ice skated, I thought it would be fun to take them. Perhaps I should have considered that there is only one of me and there are three of them. I was way out numbered. Add to that the fact that none of us knew how to ice skate at all... I did go once, when I was about 14, but that was quite a while ago... The problem is that I only have 2 hands and there were 3 children reaching for them. So, I had to take one out at a time. Fortunately, one of the other Mothers took pity on me and offered to keep an eye on the kids that I had to leave in the stands.


The kids seemed to have a good time. Big A had a minor panic attack the first trip around the rink. But by the end of the session, she was having a great time on the ice with her friends. D did surprisingly well out there on the ice-- he went around the rink more than anyone. He seemed to have no fear of falling-- probably because he falls all the time anyway. He did get pretty tired by the end though. Little A wasn't too happy about skating, but she had great balancing skills. I think she would have been skating like an expert in no time if she wasn't so opposed to exercise. I am proud to report that I did pretty well also-- I never even fell!! I would love to take them back sometime soon... But next time, I think I will bring along someone to help me. I am definitely not Supermom....

Unfortunately, I wasn't able to get any photos of the kids out on the ice-- I was too busy helping them skate...

Ready To Go Out On The Ice

See The Skates....

My Little Jumping Beans...

Friday night we went to Big A and D's school for Movie Night. "Kung Fu Panda" was playing. The kids had a great time watching the movie. It was a really cute movie. The panda reminds me of Little A--she'll do anything for food!!!

Today Little A had a birthday party to go to. Of course Big A and D got to crash the party, as I had no babysitter. They certainly didn't mind-- the party was a The Little Jumping Bean (one of those indoor bouncing playgrounds). The big kids had a great time, but Little A spent most of the party pitching fits about one thing or another... She cried most of the time. I'm still not sure what her problem was-- tired, I guess. After the party, we met my friend, Annie, for a late lunch. The kids sort of behaved in the restaurant, but they were still pretty loud. Annie has no children, and I could tell that the chaos was a little much for her... I spent most of lunch getting more juice, getting more salsa, taking kids to the "potty", etc. So there wasn't much conversation. No wonder no one asks me out to coffee or lunch very often...

All in all it was a good day... Especially because I got a nice long nap in after we got home from lunch. I got nothing accomplished around the house, but I got some good rest-- something that I really need every now and then...

D, Taking The Plunge...

Big A Bites Some Pizza

Food Always Makes Little A Smile...

Later in the evening, Big A performed a Chemistry Experiment. One of her many career choices is "chemist"... Little A and D were allowed to participate in her experiment as well-- but only in a limited capacity. Big A made it quite clear to them that this was her chemistry set and she was the "scientist". My job was to read the directions and take the photos...

Scooping The Gel Crystals...

D Got To Help Pack The Gel

Into The Test Tube

The Finished Product...

Later, A Slumber Party

A Foggy Friday....

I am sooo sleepy. It is a dreary, wet day-- the perfect day to nap. Unfortunately, I'm at work, so napping is not an option. I just can't stop yawning... I woke up feeling sad today. This week has been hard. I really wish things had not ended so badly with Theresa. Our friendship has been so strained lately-- I always considered us family-- sort of like sisters, so I just have a hard time understanding why she feels so much anger and jealousy. Things began to feel so dysfunctional... I began to feel like I was a wife in a bad marriage. Controlled and trapped. Weird. Things got very bizarre. I have to admit that I feel a lot of relief now that she is gone, but I also feel sad that I can't call and talk to her. I feel sad that things got so strained between us. I feel sad that things changed so much. She really has been a good friend to me in many ways. She stuck by me when others in my life turned away. I really do love her-- just not in the way she wants, I guess. It does feel like I've lost a family member... Who knows, maybe someday we will be friends again, but somehow I think it will be a long time before that happens.

I feel alone today. I hate when I feel that way. Sometimes I wake up in the morning and realize how much responsibility that I have on my shoulders and it scares me. I am responsible for the lives of three children. Normally I feel like I can do it-- really I don't think about how I'm going to do it.. I just do it. But sometimes I look at myself and wonder how I manage. I am terribly disorganized, and I'm such a procrastinator-- it is amazing I get anything done. So far my kids seem fairly happy. I hope they are anyway... I just sometimes feel like I have no one to talk to about my frustrations and my fears. No one really wants to hear a pity party anyway. Everyone has their own issues to deal with. But I can see why people hesitate to have children on their own-- it can be very lonely at times. It is probably a big relief to have another person to share that responsibility with. But this is the life that I have chosen to live, and I don't regret having my kids on my own. When I feel overwhelmed and lonely like this, I just try push my fears aside and wait for the feeling to go away-- probably not the ideal way to deal with my emotions, but it seems to work for me....

Tonight things will get better though. It is Free Movie Night at Big A and D's school. "Kung Fu Panda" is playing. Watching my kids faces as they enjoy the movie will erase all of my loneliness and fear-- it always does.

Adventures Of D....

Just when I thought I had D's behavior under control, I got a call from his school... Apparently he got mad at his teacher and hit her on the leg. Then he pitched a huge tantrum and tried to destroy his glasses. The assistant principal had to take his glasses away for a while. Luckily, the principal didn't suspend him from school... I had a long talk with both the assistant principal and his teacher, and assured them that I would talk to him and try to get his behavior under control. That boy is going to be the death of me...

When we got home, D finished his homework, ate a quick dinner and went to bed early as punishment. He was not at all happy about it. He promised not to hit teachers (or anyone else). We'll see how long he can behave himself this time... After he went to bed, the house was oddly quiet... Big A played quietly with her paper dolls, and Little A played quietly with color forms. I have to admit, I was really enjoying the peace and calm. This was what nights were like before D came home... Quiet. Now he and Little A run amok through the house every night, making messes where ever they go, and Big A ends up screaming at them for tearing up her toys or annoying her... But tonight there was peace... I began to feel guilty because I was enjoying the calm so much. Adding a boy to the house has definitely added excitement and chaos... :)

Below are some of the kids' latest artistic creations...

Big A Made Me A "Love Card"

With Flaps To Lift....

Big A's "Instructions To Build

An Underground Playhouse"



Little A's Colorful Creation...

D's Depiction Of His Community

(A Project For School)

Strange Days...

The past few days have not been good-- to say the least. I have been under a lot of personal stress. One of my good friends came back to town briefly, and our visit was not good. Our relationship has been very strained lately and is probably now over... How did things get this out of control? I still am not sure. I lost trust in her. Not that I really trust anyone anyway-- but I did actually think that I could trust her to an extent. I really don't know what to think about the situation... or how to feel. I sort of feel like my chest has been punched and I have lost my breath, but I also feel strangely numb at the same time. Today she told me that I was "dead to her".

Unfortunately, that is not the first time that someone has said that to me... About 8 years ago my Grandfather said those words to me. Why? Because I didn't visit him for a couple of months... (he was the meanest man ever to live--- probably where I get some of my charming personality). The reason he said it isn't as important as the result. Because he told me that I was "dead to him", I never called him again. In fact, I never knew what happened to him until a few years ago. He died, alone, in 2003. My cousin looked it up on the Internet and told me... I do have feelings of guilt that I ever called him again, but I can't change what happened. It just happened. Today I feel sort of the same way that I felt when I found out about his death-- numb and breathless. I wonder if I will ever see "my friend" again...

Someone told me today how important it is to surround yourself with people who give off positive energy. I began to wonder what kind of energy I give off-- definitely not positive. Stressed out? Frantically hyper maybe? I wish that I could give off positive energy. Who knows, maybe someday... I definitely give off some sort of energy-- what kind remains to be seen.

The same person told me that I'm "weird" tonight. Yes, she is right. I think I am weird, strange, perhaps even eccentric in some ways. Often I just simply say what comes to my mind-- many times those thoughts shouldn't be vocalized. I prefer to think of myself as honest. If I think it, I say it... even if I shouldn't. Unfortunately, I am not always politically correct, and I will probably never get ahead in life or my career by BSing, but I am real. I do, for the most part, like myself-- hey someone has to... :)

Soccer Season Ends....

This weekend all of the kids had their last soccer games and team parties. The big kids had their party on Saturday, and Little A had hers on Sunday. I have to admit, I wasn't too sad to see the season end. For some reason this season just didn't feel right. I guess things have been so hectic that I just didn't get much enjoyment out of it all... Poor Little A was so sick during her party that she didn't even want her medal. We had to leave abruptly when she threw up during the middle of it. D, however, was very excited about his medal. But I think he was most excited about the pizza and cupcakes he got at the party...

Eating Pizza At The Soccer Party



Where's My Pizza?

Little A Is Always Happy To

Eat

Good Season Bulldogs

D Gets His First Medal

The Coach Telling Big A

What A Great Offensive

Player She Was

Showing Off Her Medal

A Proud Boy

It Is Torcher For This Boy To

Stand Still Long Enough

To Pose

Playing On The Tire Swing

Cheese!!!!

Unfortunately, on Sunday, Little A was so sick that she wouldn't pose for any photos. So I have none to post....

After A Long Weekend.....

Everyone's Woes...

Today is a beautiful day... It's warm and sunny and things seem to be going well in my life--aside from financial stress... So why have I been in such a bad mood? Maybe it's hormones or maybe it's just my crazy jaded mind. I'm not sure. As soon as I woke up, I felt myself in that dark mood. The kind of mood that always gets me into trouble. I feel like picking a fight with someone and feeling sorry for myself. I feel like pushing away anyone who is close to me. I know that when I'm in this mood, it is best to keep to myself-- not talk to anyone. But, as usual, I don't take my own advise-- instead I start in on whoever is too close to me. I start running my mouth-- that is what usually gets me in trouble. I have an extremely hard time communicating with people. I should say that I have a hard time talking to people about my feelings. I seem to just freeze up when the subject of emotions comes up. I have gone so long without feeling vulnerable and emotional that I don't know how to handle it. I haven't opened my heart up to anyone in so long that I'm not sure I know how. I just have no trust whatsoever in anyone. I wish that I did-- really I do, but I'm not sure that I have the ability to trust and open myself up completely to anyone. I do think that I'm a pretty good friend, but I am a terrible girlfriend. When I start to feel vulnerable, I panic and run. I never thought that I wanted to be in a relationship again-- until recently. But, already, I see myself trying to destroy the possibility of it working out. I am pulling away before I even give it a chance. Stupid me. But at least I'm consistent...

On a lighter note, the Tooth Fairy did visit Big A last night! D was not happy that he didn't have a visit and started tugging at his loose tooth to try to get it out. I had to explain that it will probably be a few weeks or longer before that tooth comes out (it is just barely loose), and when it does, the Tooth Fairy will come to see him too. He didn't feel any better-- he was still mad.

Snaggle Tooth...

I have been sooo sleepy this week. I guess I still haven't gotten used to the time change. As soon as it gets dark in the evening I seem to just start fading out. I have fallen asleep on the couch--sitting up, lights on all week. Not the most restful sleep... Maybe that explains the awful dreams I have been having, and the dark mood I have been in...

I did get some great news today though. I took D to his pre surgical appointment with the Opthomologist this morning. He was scheduled for surgery next Friday, but the opthomologist felt that his strabismas had improved so much that she wants to cancel surgery and recheck him in 3 months. That suits me just fine! I was really starting to stress about the surgery. I really don't like the idea of him going under anesthesia, not to mention the idea of someone cutting on his eye muscles.... So, at least I can put off thinking about it for another 3 months. The only down side is that if she decides surgery is needed after all, my deductible won't be met-- new year...

Big A had a good day also... She lost her third tooth!!! She was very excited--especially because there was no blood involved... So tonight the tooth fairy will come-- if she stays awake... Hopefully she will...

Big A And Her Tooth...

Happy Halloween!!!

I desperately need to catch up on my blogging. We have had a great week... so I'll attempt to catch up. There are always a lot of kid activities during the Halloween season. It seems like every weekend has been packed with activities. On Thursday night (Oct 23) the kids and I went to Disney On Ice. We had a lot of fun, even though our seats were in the nose bleed section. Big A now wants to be an ice skater.... Last weekend started off with a little stress-- at least for me. D acted horribly at school and in aftercare. When I picked him up from school, he proceeded to scream and call me names and threaten to hit and pinch me--- he was being a little terror!!! Unfortunately, I had to punish him by putting him to bed early. This was also punishment for me because we were all supposed to go to the Dolly Parton Concert with my friend Sheila and her daughter... So, I bit the bullet and stayed home with D and Little A. There was just no way I could reward his bad behavior by letting him go to the concert. Big A did get to go, however. Sheila came by and picked her up. She had a really good time hanging out with them. I was really bummed because it was Big A's first concert, and I missed it....

Below are some photos from Disney On Ice...

Sebastian From The Little Mermaid

Tinkerbell Finds Her Talent...

Fairy Colors Of Spring

Flower Finale...

Then On Saturday of Last week, we all went to the Stone Mountain Pumpkin Festival. Sheila came with us as well. She was a great sport, putting up with 3 wild kids and their crazy Mother... D had a great time riding the train and seeing all of the Fall decorations. The girls had a ball too. Big A's big accomplishment was climbing the rock wall-- she has been wanting to do this for a long time, but has never been big enough. She did great climbing up, but had a minor panic attack on the way down. The staff let her go up a second time so she could conquer her fears... Sometimes it pay to be a drama queen... Later that night, we all watched the Stone Mountain Laser Show. It was a really fun, and exhausting day.

Posing In Front Of The Pumpkins


The Three Little Pumpkin Pigs...

Hamming It Up...

Look At The Pumpkin Family

In Front Of Stone Mountain

Imagine Carving This Pumpkin...

D Trying To Sit Still

He Would Rather Push The Pumpkins Over

Than Pose In Front Of Them

Our Family....

Big A Climbs The Wall...

D Was Excited About The Train Ride!!!

Waiting For The Laser Show To Begin...

This weekend was action packed as well... Friday Morning Little A's class went to the Dekalb Medical Center to Trick or Treat. I took the day off of work to go with her. It was so cute watching all of the 3 year olds wearing their costumes and getting excited about Halloween. Later in the afternoon, her class had a big Halloween party The room was decorated and dark, and all the children had glow stick bracelets and necklaces. It was really spooky... There was lots of good food as well. The teachers did a great job making the Halloween party a hit. After the party, Little A went with me to do a quick house call, and then we picked up Big A and D. The big kids started a new aftercare program this week, and so far seem to really like it. They had a little Halloween party in aftercare and even got to help carve a pumpkin!

Once we got home, we began to prepare for an evening of Trick Or Treating!!! Mommy was very slack this year and didn't carve the pumpkins until Halloween afternoon... I let the kids draw their own faces, then I carved them out. Unfortunately, I ran out of time and didn't get my big pumpkin carved... But at least the children got to do theirs...

This year Big A dressed as a Cheerleader, Little A was a Fairy Princess, and D was a Pirate!!! He was very very excited about his first Halloween. All month he has been asking " When my first my Halloween?" Sheila also came out with us-- Big A made her dress as a cheerleader too... I got away with only wearing a clown hat... The kids wanted me to dress as a chicken, but I declined. The kids loaded up with candy and attempted to eat it all on Halloween night!!! Especially Little A... that girl can EAT!!!

Trick Or Treating At The Hospital....

Little A Has A Crush On Flash...

Bags Full Of Candy

Party Time!!!

Ready To Trick Or Treat!!!

Hurry Up!!! Let's Go!!!

No More Photos!!!

Big A Always Makes Time To

Pose....

Excited D

Saturday was fun-filled as well.... Th big kids had soccer at 9 am!!! Not a wise time choice for the day after Halloween... At least not for Mommy---she was very tired.... Big A had a great game. She scored 5 goals-- 3 of them were back to back!! D wasn't too interested in playing--he's not a morning person either. Later in the afternoon, we all went to Little A's school for the Fall Festival. The kids dressed up in costumes, participated in many crafts, and continued to stuff their faces with candy and sweets... They had a great time running around, being wild and crazy. We parents had a good time chatting and letting our kids run wild...

Big A Decorates A Pumpkin

Little A And D Decorating Bags

Saturday Evening Ended With A

Sleepover...

Our Halloween Was Definitely Happy....