Adventures In Hearing, Hysterics, and OCD...

I have been slack again about posting. The past few days have been busy and very tiring. Big A went to the pediatrician for her 5 year check up on Wednesday afternoon-- the appointment took 2 1/2 hours! I also brought Little A along for the ride -- probably not the best decision... she got very restless and fussy towards the end. Poor Big A got 3 vaccines-- I had warned her that she would get 2, but I didn't know about the 3rd. She also got blood taken and had to provide a urine sample. Needless to say, she was not too happy at the end of the appointment.

The big surprise of our visit came when she failed her hearing test!! They rechecked it, and she failed again. Then they did a tympanogram and she failed that too. Her left ear was worse, but she failed the test in her right one too. The doctor said that he did not see any fluid, wax, or inflammation in either ear- he wants her to come back for a retest in 6 weeks. If she fails on that visit, she will be referred to an audiologist. She claims she can hear just fine, but "things don't sound as loud in my left ear". A few months ago, I noticed that she seemed to be suddenly speaking a lot louder, and sometimes would misunderstand what I was saying. I thought at that time that I should get her hearing checked, but of course I put it off and forgot to ever mention it to her pediatrician. I did ask her teachers at that time if they thought she had any trouble hearing and they said no. They were both very surprised when I told them about the test the next day... they said that they did notice that she talks rather loud, but they never have to repeat anything to her. She always appears to hear everything just fine. Well, I guess we will see what happens when she gets retested.

Dr. Colton also gave me a referral for occupational therapy and a child psychologist to try to deal with her behavior issues. Although, of course, she has been doing very well at school for the last week or so. I already made the appointment for the psychologist---she wants to meet with me alone first to discuss what has been going on with Big A (I guess). I am sure that she will take one look at me and say " Oh, I can see what the problem is already... it's all your fault." Especially after I open my mouth and start talking! :)

Meanwhile, Little A has developed the habit of carefully inspecting the chairs at school before she sits in them. If there is one single crumb or stain, she must first have the chair cleaned or she won't sit in it at all. She has also taken this practice to the stores--now she must inspect the shopping carts before she picks one worthy of sitting in. I may have a little "Monk" on my hands. Poor little "D", what will he think-- coming to a strange country and being surrounded by one sister who frequently goes into Hysterics, another sister who has OCD, and a mother who is always unorganized and running late! Despite having cerebral palsy and being raised in an institution, he will very likely be the most normal of my children--after all, he doesn't have any of my genes!!! He got lucky on that one! :)

The Tattling Blues....

This past weekend was pretty uneventful. I had to work at a hospital on Saturday- and the girls had to go with me... That is always eventful. But they were actually pretty good. Little A rearranged all the dog toys and started throwing balls at the clients at one point, but other than that things went well. Big A was still not feeling too well.
Sunday, I did laundry and ran errands...nothing interesting to report.
Today I went to the doctor--to get my blood pulled and get a quick physical--this is required by Russia for the adoption. I also ran around collecting more Dossier documents, having them apostilled, and sending them off to my adoption agency. Then I picked up the girls and we ran more errands. We did have a nice afternoon playing in the backyard though. The weather was beautiful today, so we hung out in the back-- the girls played in the sandbox. Big A is currently dreaming of the going to the beach this summer... That is all she talks about. So the girls pretended to be at the beach making sand castles. I sat on the deck and tried to cram some more of the Russian language into my head. Unfortunately, the more I study, the more I seem to forget...
The entire time I have been trying to write this, my two sweet daughters have been taking turns coming into the living room to tell on each other! Oh... I am up to my eyeballs in tattling, so I better get off of this computer and put them to bed before I go insane!

Flowers In February...

Well, it is still only Thursday, and I am so ready for this week to be over! Big A has had a cold all week--coughing, runny nose, etc., I have been feeling bad myself for the last few days. My chest is tight and my head is stuffy--maybe it is just allergies, who knows. But it sucks. I have been so tired all week. I keep falling asleep at 8 pm, and I don't feel at all rested when I wake up. Work has been busy, too. That is a good thing, but nothing is worse than having to work when sick. So far, Little A has been fine... I hope it stays that way. I have to work at a hospital this Saturday, and the girls are going to have to go to work with me, so I hope no one is sick by then.

I don't really have much to write about-- mainly I am trying not to doze off between patients--I am soooo sleepy. I would love to just crawl into bed with a good book right now... The weather outside is pretty dreary too, so that doesn't help much either.

I thought I would post some photos of the girls "making flowers" with Connectagons the other night. Santa brought them for Christmas, and I think I like them more than the girls. I could build things with them for hours. I just think they are pretty. We had a whole "flower garden" going... then Little A started insisting that they be sorted by color and took all of our flowers apart. She placed them all in neat little stacks and then started kicking them across the floor! Fortunately, by that time, it was bedtime!

Building A Flower Garden

Little A And Bear Bear

Big A's Big Rose

Adventures In Incheon... not

I never really wrote about my 23 hour layover in Korea (on my reurn trip from Russia). Mainly, this is because it as incredibly uneventful. I had planned to try to get some sight seeing in, but it turns out that I flew into Incheon on the Lunar New Year. Apparently, this is Korea's biggest holiday. That meant that EVERY store, bar, and restaraunt was closed that night! So I pretty much stayed in the hotel room watching movies-- fortunately they were in English. Also, the hotel room had a computer and free internet, so I checked my email. But otherwise, my night in Korea was very quiet. The next morning, I walked around, snapping pictures of the buildings. I wanted to do some shopping, but the stores do not open until 10:30 am, and I only got to quickly walk trough the Lotte Mart ( basically, that is a 4-5 story department store). I had to checkout from the hotel at noon and take the shuttle back to the airport. I spent my afternoon walking around the airport... Nothing exciting about Korea to report--maybe someday I can go back to get in some real sightseeing.

The Streets Of Incheon

A Quiet Morning

Deserted Streets

By the way, the spell check on blogger has not worked in 2 week---and that sucks because I can't spell!!! Blogger...please fix it!!!!!

More Yuzhno Photos....

I found some more photos of Yuzhno that I forgot to post. These are of Gargarin Park-- this is the main city park. It is pretty nice. There are soccer fields, a go cart track, shooting ranges, an amusement park, etc... I only walked through a small portion of th park because I was killing time--waitng for the souvenier shop to open. I can't wait to see the park on my next trip--it will be spring and the girls will be with me (hopefully). Maybe the amusement park will be open and I can take the kids...

The Park Entrance

A Statue Of An Astronaut

The Front Gate

Walking Through The Park

A Picnic Shelter

A Kiddy Ride

A Park Bench

The Park Map

Rollercoaster!!

The Airport--Taken From The Plane

(Very 1950s)

Our Valentine's Day

Our Valentine's Day was good and bad-- The girls were very excited Valentine's Day morning, because they were each going to be having a class party. The night before, Big A made her own Valentine's for her friends-- she worked very hard on them... I dropped them off at school thinking that they would both have a great day... Boy was I wrong. When I picked them up, Little A said she had a good party, and had a box full of Valentines. When I got to Big A's class, I found that she was in time out, and her "After Care" teacher told me that she had not had a good day-- her pre-k teacher left a message that she needed to speak with me the next morning---never a good sign! Big A told me that Ms. Angela had thrown away her Valentine Box. When I asked why, she said she "can't remember"-- that is her standard response when she gets in trouble...



She told me on the way home that her "friends" had made fun of her --calling her a baby and saying that they weren't going to give her any Valentine's. she said that she had gotten mad and cried and screamed and that is why Ms. Angela had taken away her Valentine Box. I told her that something else must have happened for the teacher to do such an extreme thing as to take away her box. Of course Big A "couldn't remember" anything else happening. Yet again I explained to her that the reason the other kids pick on her and call her names is because they know that they can make her cry... I told her that the only way to make them stop, is not to react to the teasing-- she should simply walk away and go play with some other children who don't tease her, but do not cry about it-- that will only give them an excuse to tease her more. She told me that there are 5 specific children that make fun of her. I know that this is true, because every evening when I pick her up, these same children always run up to me and say things like " Big A cried today", " she was acting like a baby today", etc. The other day one of the boys actually ran up to me, pointed to the scar on his head and told me that Big A had done that to him--that I know is not true, because his dog cut him a few weeks ago. So, I said to him " so you are telling me that Big A hit you and put that scar on your head?" He said, "yes". I said " I thought your dog put that scar on you head, isn't that right?" And he actually looked me straight in my eyes and said "No, Big A did it" By this time, Big A was crying. I told him that Big A did not put that scar on is head, and I know for a fact that his dog did it and I took my girls and left the room. Looking back, I should have told him that is it not nice to tell lies and accuse people of things they didn't do. To be honest, that little story really pissed me off. I am so tired of these little kids tattling to me every time I go into the room. Next time it happens, I am going to tell them that I do not want to hear it anymore. If something happens during class time, they need to talk to their teachers not to me. I am also going to tell them that they have no right to call my child a baby and tease her, and if I continue to hear that this is happening, I am going to have to call their parents and have a talk with them. I am fed up with it. I spoke to the teacher about it, and she acknowledged that they were, indeed, trying to tease Big A, but she said she always stopped it immediately. Obviously, she has not stopped it completely... But I am going to , I guarantee it. Yes, I AM PISSED.

Anyway, the next day, I found out the rest of the story. A squabble broke out between Big A and these "friends" and Big A started crying and screaming, so the teacher told her to give her the box. Big A told the teacher that she was going to hit her! Then Big A threw the box at the teacher! I couldn't believe it. She has never threatened a teacher and she has not been violent in the past. The teacher agreed-- she said she never would have expected this type of behavior from her. She told me she thinks that something is really bothering her for her to act out in this way. I, of course, had a very long talk with Big A about this, and she said the only thing bothering her was the kids teasing her... I asked her why she threatened her teacher, and she said because she was mad at the kids. I am going to talk to her pediatrician to get some suggestions on what to do. There are other worrisome signs like some of her drawings lately, and the fact that she often complains of nausea lately. I don't know if she is stressed because of my recent trip, the adoption, or if it is something else. Maybe it is the kids teasing her, but whatever it is, I have to figure it out, before it escalates any further.

Anyway, the portion of Valentine's Day that the three of us spent together, was good. Below are some photos form our V-day.

Big A's Valentines

Little A's Valentines

The Girls Playing With Their Doll Bed

The Girls Got Me These Valentine Gifts!!!

I am very worried about Big A. She does not handle her emotions well. She never has, but she seemed to be getting much better this school year. In the last month, though, she has been having more meltdowns and has been worrying more about things. I have been stressed too, so I don't know if she has been feeling my stress and it has been spilling over onto her , or what. But, even though she is a challenging girl, and she can be quite the drama queen, she is a very good girl. She does not deserve the teasing she is getting at school.

Finally Meeting "D"!!!!!! (A very long post)

It took me a long time, but I finally got some more pictures of Russia uploaded. The date of the post says Feb 10, but it is actually Feb 14. I have been so busy trying to play catch up with work, get my adoption papers done, and being jet-lagged that I have not been able to finish this post. Last night was the first night that I actually slept all the way through the night. Maybe I am finally back on Atlanta time! I still feel tired and stressed, but I no longer feel like a complete zombie!


The photos that I have posted here (and there are a lot of them) are of the small villages of Tymovsk and Kirovskoye. Tymovsk is about 40 kilometers from Kirovskoye. Kirovskoye is the settlement where the orphanage is located. When I say "village" and "settlement", that is just what I mean. These places were so small that you could almost miss them if you weren't really looking--especially Kirovskoye. But it was all very quaint and peaceful.

You may be wandering why I have not immediately posted photos of "D"--unfortunately, legally I am not supposed to post his face online. I have, however, posted some profile shots of him, and he may, or may not, be found in some of the group photos that I have posted below. I will tell you that he is just the cutest little boy!!! I can not wait for him to get home. I just know that the girls will love him as much as I do already! I hope that he is doing well still--it kills me to think of him still in the institution. I hope he does not think that I have decided not to take him. I hope he knows that I am coming as soon as I can...

As I said before, I spent the first 2 days in Yuhzno-- getting paperwork ready and just walking around the city snapping photos, really just killing time until the trip "to the north". On the evening of Feb 1, we boarded a train to Tymosvk (by we, I mean Me, Svetlana-the agency rep, and Dasha-the translator). Svetlana and Dasha roomed together in the front of the train. My car was towards the center--I had one "bunkmate"--a young Russain woman who was traveling to the north to work as a translator at the oil project. Since she spoke English, we ended up talking until very late that night. A very interesting conversation...about our lives, our travels, etc. Like an idiot, I forgot to take a picture of the inside of the train--because, let me tell you, it was quite a sight to see. Very 1940's/50's, but it was pretty comfortable, and I was able to sleep well. The really funny part was that at the beginning of the trip they come to your bunk and give you a little box that contains: an apple, a roll, a piece of cheese, some salami, a packet of soup mix, and a pint of Vodka!!! I cracked up! Talk about a Russian stereotype! I saved mine and brought it home as a souvenier.

The next morning, at 7:30 am, we got off the train in Tymovsk, and proceeded by cab to our "hotel". The hotel is on the 5th floor of what looks like an old office building. The lower floors have been converted into shops ( each small room--is a little shop). The is also a small restaraunt on one of the lower floors--like a small cafe with about 6 tables and a kitchen. They don't really have a menu with many choices--you just pick from about 2 selections. The menu changes daily. The food was very, very good, by the way. Anyway, back to the hotel. There is a small lobby with a snack bar, and a hall on either side. Guests stay in small rooms along the hall, and there is only one bathroom on each hall-- which all guests share. Sounds scary, but the bathroom was actually very clean (and I have a big public restroom phobia)... The woman that ran the hotel also lived there I think--she had a daughter that was eleven, they were both very nice. At first they just stared at me funny, but they warmed up to me after a while. Even though they only knew a few words in English, we were able to communicate alright.

The Lobby Of The "Hotel" In Tymovsk

My Hotel Room

All of the TV stations were Russian, of course. I did watch the Russian version of "Law and Order" and "Who wants to be a Millionaire"--although there it is 1 million Rubles (only about $30,000.00). Mainly I read at night. It was very, very quiet in the village at night-- very peaceful.

In Front Of The Hotel

There was very little traffic in this village--most of the people walk. Someone told me that Tymovsk is the coldest village on the island of Sakhalin. It was extremely cold, but the air was so dry that it was not uncomfortable--at least not to me. If you walked outside for even a few seconds though, your nose would start to burn, and you sometimes would lose your breath--definitely a good idea to wear a scarf over the mouth.

I Thought This Building Was Pretty





Apartments in Tymovsk

Another Neat Building

I have to say, I really liked this village. It was so peaceful and serene. The people there were extremely poor, but again, all of the women dressed in their best clothes. The little markets were still Soviet style-- just a single room with counters all around. The customers tell the clerks what they want and the clerk gets the items. They have cash registers, but they actually use big abaccuses to add up your total! Also, there are many stray dogs in the villages. Often a dog will walk into the market and sit under the counter begging for food. Dasha kept buying sausages for one dog to eat-- he was starving, poor thing.

The View From My Hotel Room

On the morning of Feb 2, after we got settled in our hotel, we all showered and took a cab to the settlement of Kirovskoye--to the orphanage to meet with the Director and meet "D"! I was very nervous, to say the least. I really had no idea what to expect. I have been waiting to meet this little boy for over a year now--and it almost seemed like it would never happen. I had been looking at pictures and wandering what this little boy was really like for so long... I had been trying to prepare myself for the worst-- maybe he wouldn't like me, maybe I would suddenly feel like this was the wrong thing to do, maybe his disability would be so great that I would not be able to handle it, etc, etc... It all seemed surreal.

The Orphanage is a giant white building that sits in the middle of a very large field. There is a large iron gate and fence surrounding the institution's compound. The road leading up to the Orphanage is sprinkled with a few houses and small apartment buildings. That pretty much describes the settlement of Kirovskoye (or at least the portion of it that I saw).

We pulled up to the gate, and were let in by two men who occupied the gate house... Then we made the long walk up to the building. That first day, I was so worried about what I would find inside. Below is the first photograph that I took of the Orphanage.

The Orphanage

The Foyer of the Institution opened into a large hallway--to the righ was a indoor flower bed, with a couple of small trees planted in it. Surrounding the trees were what looked like some kind of lilies. There was a small pond with a fountain under one tree. The Director later told use that the children had planted all of the plants and they cared for them. The front hallway and foyer was painted turquoise blue and there were murals of popular soviet cartoon charactors painted on the walls.

The Director of the orphanage met us at the front and took us to his office. He told us about the history of the institution. The orphanage currently houses 250 children from age 4 yrs to 20 yrs, all with physical and/or mental disabilities. After age 20, the residents are moved to an Adult Mental Institution. He said that about 60 children lived in the "lying down" rooms-- basically, these are bedridden children who never leave their beds--many have hydrocephalus, etc. They just basically lay there waiting to die. He offered to show us these rooms, but we declined. Svetlana may have visited some of the worse parts of the orphanage, but she said that I did not need to see that-- it would be too much for me. I tend to think that she was right, because the children that I did see broke my heart... I was forever changed by my visit there.

After talking for what seemed like an eternity, the Director sent a Nurse to get "D". They brought him in wiping tears from his eyes--he had been dressed to go out for a walk, and they pulled him back in to come visit me... He wiped his tears away, and politely said hello to me. The nurse bragged that he knew how to recite poetry-- and instructed him to recite a nursery rhyme for us. He did--although it was a mere whisper. Then the Director showed me his notebook with his drawings and "D" seemed very proud of them. The first meeting is still somewhat of a blur to me-- mostly I just stared and smiled at this sweet little boy. Everyone bragged that he had very good teeth (a rarity in the orphanage). I showed him the sticker book that I had brought him and 2 of the matchbox cars-- he was in awe. We played with the stickers and cars for a while, and then the Director took us on a short tour of the facility. "D" held my hand the whole time. We went to his "group". A sort of classroom. Each group consists of 8-10 children and a Nurse. Some of the groups are of mixed ages and in some groups all of the children are similar ages. "D"'s group is a mixed age group--something that I am still not sure is good, but all of the boys seemed very nice. Of course, each group is made up of one sex only-- there are girl groups and boy groups. "D"'s group was in the middle of karyoke time when we went up there-- I video taped all of them dancing and singing--it was really cute, and sad too. These children will likely never be adopted.

Below are some more photos of the orhanage grounds:

An Apartment Building Outside The Orphanage Compound

The Orphanage Horse Stables

(the horses are used to pull carts to bring food, not to ride)

A Mushroom Statue Buried In The Snow

A Dump Truck Buried In The Snow!!

Mishka--A Mouse Statue

("D" later told us that the mishka bites-

I think the bigger boys told him that the

statue will bite him)

Another View Of The Orphanage

The English Translation of the

Orphanage's name is

"Home for Children with Defective Minds"

(can you believe that!?)

Me And "D" On The First Day

Showing "D" His Stickers

(the green spot on the back of his head is medicine that

they put on his cut)

More Sticker Fun

"D"s Group

The boy sitting on the right just celebrated his 16th birthday- he was about the size of a 10 year old.

Dancing To Karyoke

A Happy Group Of Boys

(they were very excited about "D"s cars-which he kept safely in his pockets)

These Faces Will Always Haunt Me--

They All Deserve A Home

Taking A Walk

Walking Hand In Hand

"D" Is Now A Hero- He Has A Mama

The Girl that is talking to "D" in this photo, said that they call "D" their "Baby" because he is so cute and little. The girl in the pink coat, asked Svetlana to find her mother (who lives in a remote village). She told Svetlana that she had come to the orphanage with her sister, but now her sister had died and she was all alone. She was a very smart girl-- she even knew some English. She later told me that she planned to someday move to the United States to be a chef. Unfortunately, once in this institution, they never get out. Imagine that--she will never be able to reach her dreams and goals. That is heartbreaking and so unfair.

Mama And Son

Talking To Andrey

Svetlana told me that Andrey is Autistic, and unlikely to get adopted (even though my agancy has been advocating for him). He is so sad looking. A very cute little boy. It broke my heart.

A Shelter Behind The Orphanage

Another Shelter

Valenka--Russian Boots Made From Pressed Wool

A Shelter Near The Playground

"D" Loved Looking Through His Photo Album

When he saw the picture of his room, with the boat bed, he exclaimed (in Russian of course), "I will be at the Sea!!!"

Who Should We Call?

Almost A Yearling

(He likes sugar cubes)

The Children Sledding

"D" Gets A Ride

(he is in the blue coat)

What Fun!!!

The girl in red is one of the older orphans, they told me that she helps to take care of the little ones, especially "D"

A Daughter With No Mother

"Will You Be My Mama, Too?"

This little girl followed me around the orphanage all the time, she would try to hold onto my arm every time she saw me. She asked Svetlana if I could please be her Mama too. It broke my heart, she would smile and call me Mama, and just rub my hand. All she wants is Mama...

Another Sweet Girl With No Family

All of the children got very excited to have their photo taken-- especially the older ones.

Posing With Svetlana

Take Another Photo, "Pazhausta" (please)

Pictures Before Sledding

"Sabaka"!!!!
(Russian for Dog)

"D" was fascinated with Sabakas (there were many loose dogs on the orphanage grounds)--he would call for them to come, and when they did, he was afraid of them. He said "Sabaka bites". We saw a limping dog, and he noticed it--he said " The dog has a hurt leg...we should give him some chocolate!" :) I guess he thought chocolate would make the dog feel better. What a sweet boy!

Sharing Juice With Buzz Lightyear

Below are some photographs of the Beautiful embroidery and knitting that the girls at the orphanage make. The director told us that even girls with deformed hands are able to learn to sew and knit. He said that the older girls knit mittens and socks for the younger children. All old clothes are taken apart, and the thread is reused to make new items or embroidery. The Sewing teachers were getting together some of the best works to be shown in an exhibit in a neighboring village. The director said that creating such beautiful work gives the girls a sense of accomplishment and self worth. I was very impressed. These children have such talent, yet they are kept out of sight and out of mind from their fellow Russian citizens.

Examples Of Knitting And Embroidery

(created by " children with defective minds" -how can anyone say this!?)

A Doll Dress That A Girl Is Working On

The Girl In The Pink Is Making The Dress

More Beautiful Examples

All Of This Was Made By Children

Knitted Doll Clothes, And Handmade Doll Furniture

Also, A Paper Mache Tea Set

Paper Mache Eggs

These Girls Are So Talented, And Yet Outcasts

The work of these girls was really unbelievable to me. There is really nothing more to say. These are Human Beings that will never have the chance to try to lead productive, happy lives. They will forever be locked away behind closed doors... The Director told us that he has tried to gain public interest in the institution--he has tried to invite the media to show that these children do indeed exist, but they have no interest. No one wants to acknowledge them.

View From The Road

View From Cab--While Driving To Visit "D"

More of the Children:

This Boy Was So Sweet

(he let all the others have their pictures

taken before he took his turn)

Thrilled To Pose For The Camera

They Were So Proud When I Showed Them The Picture

All They Wanted Was Some Attention

And A Family....

Posing with "D"

Below are some photos of "D"s Group Room. The Classroom was kept very clean and neat. There were lots of plants, and even a fish tank. The toys on the shelves were not really played with--looked like decoration only. The Director said that the institution was just now beginning to form a school curriculum for the children. In the past, these children were not given any education what so ever. The Deaf children are not even taught sign language at this orphanage!! That would take money-- which the government does not give them. Imagine that--Deaf, with no way to communicate....

In the cabinets were little shoe boxes--"D" opened some of them. I saw little pieces of paper, small plastic soldiers, etc. These were boxes belonging to each boy--containing all of the "Treasures" that they had collected. I told "D" that we couldn't play with these boxes, because they belonged to his friends. We put them back safely. It broke my heart. "D" carried his "Treasures" around in an old woman's purse---in it he had bits of paper, some little cardboard pieces, some legos, etc.

Fish Tanks And Plants

("D"s Group was in Room 1D--ironic)

The Room Was Bright And Cheery

"D" Playing With His Gifts

(The Nurses let us hide out in the group room on

one of our visits--Dasha (the translator) is on the left)

All too quickly my visit came to an end. The last day was so hard for me. I told "D" that I would be back when "the snow melts". I hope that he remembers that, and does not forget about me. Or worse, I hope that he does not think I have changed my mind and left forever. The Nurses said that they would lock his toys up at night so they wouldn't be stolen, and they said that they would show him the photo album everyday... I hope he is okay.

The View From My Hotel On The Last Day

The Train Station On The Trip Back

(My heart was so heavy--I felt like I was leaving my child)

Goodbye Tymovsk