I'm sitting here in the dark, listening to the thunder and the wind. I am feeling so heavy. Empty. Maybe that is a better word to describe it. Alone. Things are not going the way I want them to in my life. I am not even sure what I want anymore. Defeated. That is what I feel tonight. Defeated by what? Me? Life? Fate? Circumstance? Her? Him? Who? I don't know. I want a life that I cannot have. I want the storybook family. I want a partnership. I want passion. I want to be wanted... needed... loved... cherished. I want things to be easy and fluid. I want the connection to be unbreakable. I want my thoughts and dreams to be respected and acknowledged. I want so many things... I don't want to be alone. I want to have fun and laugh and cuddle and hug and kiss and make love and watch the sunrise and the sunset.... and marvel at the beauty of it all.... I want to watch the children play, grow, laugh, and run. I want to cookout and camp and travel to the beach. To the west. Travel the world. I want to grow old with someone by my side. I want to wake up next to the one I love every day of my life. I want a simple life. I want the stress to go away. I want the clouds to lift. I want to be blessed all the days of my life. I want to be loved.
If I could pray, that is what I would pray for.....
1 comment:
you can pray.
and that is a beautiful desire.
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