Whew... This morning has been rough already... I woke up late, and found that I was almost falling off the edge of my bed because I was sharing it with TWO of my children. The three of us were stuffed together on only half of the bed, because the other half contains a HUGE pile of laundry. I'm not sure how or when D and Little A ended up in the bed... I must have been deep in sleep. I vaguely remember D saying something about a bad dream... but I'm not sure about Little A. I was having VERY VERY strange and unhappy dreams when I woke up... The kids were late to school... but I was able to keep my cool this morning instead of yelling at them to hurry as I usually do. So that is a good thing. And, on the way to school, Big A informed me that she made President's Honor Roll last semester! Yay! She was so proud! I am too! She is such a good student, and she LOVES to learn. I hope she keeps this love of learning. I think she will.
Yesterday was a whirlwind.... I worked all day, and, as usual, had some very disheartening cases--- a 7 year old dog with possible osteosarcoma in his pelvis, etc. But the workday went by very quickly.That is another good thing. During lunch I ran home to straighten up and vacuum. After work, the kids and I went to the laundromat, grocery shopping, and out to eat... we didn't get home until 8:30... well past their bedtime... I was exhausted. I have GOT to either get my washer fixed or just buy a new one! This laundry business is wearing me thin. The good thing about going to the laundromat is that all laundry gets done at once.... Still it takes way too much time out of my already hectic schedule. Oh well, I'm gonna put it at the top of my "To Do List" :)
My phone has been so quiet for the last few days. It is strange. And kind of lonely. I find myself looking at the phone throughout the day just to see if I have missed a call. It is weird. I almost feel obsessive. I know with time this will get better. The techs at work were laughing at me yesterday about it... they commented on how my phone hadn't gone off. Then when I came in the room once they were standing around chuckling... they said my phone had rung and I should check my messages... I looked at the number, didn't recognize it, and I still haven't checked the voicemail... I am certain that they were crank calling me. Funny. Anyway, I'll get used to it. The one good thing is that I feel more compelled to write on this blog.... I guess since I am not constantly recounting the events of the day to anyone, I am more apt to write them down here. It's kind of nice to be able to put down my thoughts without any opinion given back. Not that hearing someone else's opinion is bad, but sometimes I just want to talk and get my thoughts out without having to have a big discussion about it. So this blog is back to being my free therapy so to speak. Back to being the place where I can be me without feeling like I may get judged for something I say. Maybe someone out in internet land will judge me or have a differing opinion than mine, but this is my place to say what I want to, and I feel good about that.
This year is going to be about me--- working on things I feel I need to change within myself and my situation. I have a mental list, but I really need to write it out so I can formulate a clear plan of action. The first thing I am working on is letting go of anger and hurt from the past. Also I need to look at life in a less negative way. I have already been trying to focus on finding a positive in situations which are frustrating or sad. Reorienting my thinking pattern is going to be a long process and I know this. It is funny, Santa brought Big A the movie "Pollyanna" for Christmas. I had, believe it or not, never seen this movie. We watched it over Christmas break, and I really enjoyed it. I have decided to adopt her little game-- always look for a positive. We'll see if I can keep it up. The kids were less impressed with the movie than I was, but maybe when Santa saw it sitting in the discount bin at Kroger and grabbed it at the last minute on Christmas Eve, he unconsciously meant for me to watch it... Funny. They say everything happens for a reason. Maybe it does.
My sister- in- law told me she is reading a book called "Letting go of Anger"... It is a Christian based book. She said she thinks it is going to be a good one... suggested that I also read it. Maybe I will check it out. I sometimes have issues with books that are too religious in content, so we will see if it would be doable for me to read. I also need to work on finding my Faith this year. Obviously. Another challenge for me. But maybe if I can let go of my anger and hurt associated with my childhood, my Faith will will be found. Lots to consider.... Yes, I must write out a list. :)
No comments:
Post a Comment