Not much to report on the adoption front, unfortunately. Last week I was hoping to hear from my agency that I had some travel dates, but, as usual, I just got an email on Friday saying that the person in Russia in charge of the data bank was unexpectedly out of the office last week. WACAP said they should hear something this week... Sometimes I feel like I'm constantly hearing excuse after excuse. I know there are many other families in the same boat as me, but still I can't help but get frustrated. The clock is ticking and ticking, and pretty soon some of my dossier will have to be updated if I don't get to travel soon. I will be very P.O.d if I have to update my home study again. I know that this will all be worth it when it is over, but meanwhile, there is a little boy out there with no family and no idea that someone is working so hard and waiting so long to bring him home. He should be in a real home with a mother to love him and his own room, his own toys, his own sisters, and the opportunity to receive the medical attention that he requires. He should not be in an orphanage that has limited resources and time. Each day that he is there is one less day that he will have to know what a family feels like.

But what is a family? I think there are many definitions of family. My definition is not the most popular one with some of my relatives unfortunately. Some of my immediate family have not been very supportive of my choice to adopt, and that is a shame. I'm not naming any names-- so nobody should get mad. I guess, people thought I was crazy to have children as a single parent in the first place. I have found through these years of being a single parent that my definition of family has greatly changed. A family is not necessarily made up of people who are related by blood. In fact, in my own case some of my closest "family" members are not related to me at all. These are the people that I know I can really count on to support me and my girls no matter what. These are the people who do not judge my decisions and who believe in me.

The first person I should introduce is Theresa--who BTW, thinks blogging is silly, so she will probably never read this. I have know Theresa for almost 4 years now--we met while her brother was building an addition onto my house. She has become part of our family-- sort of like a second mother to my girls. In fact, she is the person that I have named as guardian to them in my will. She helps me out in many ways--she will pick them up for my from daycare if I have to work late, babysits for me if I have to work on weekends, helps me with my many "home improvement" projects-- although most of the tearing down of walls and adding rooms are her idea (after all, she is a contractor). Somehow, my house always seems to be under some type of construction. People always laugh because we seem to fight like cats and dogs-- I guess we are sort of like sisters in that way or maybe an old married a couple. But, seriously, she is a really good friend who has been there for me during some pretty bad times and has been closer to me and my girls than some of my more immediate family have.

The other important member of my "family" is my friend Erika. We have been friends since high school-- when we were "stoners" and thought we were so cool with our "merry-go-round" leather miniskirts and big 80's hair. How we made it out of our teenage years, I'll never know. She is another person, who may not always understand me, but does not judge me. She knows she can count on me, and I know that I can count on her as well. Her kids are actually closer to my girls than their own cousins are. Although we don't live in the same city, we get together often, and vacation together when possible. Erika and I also have the common bond of being sort of the "black sheep" of our families... Although we've been estranged, at times, from our families for different reasons, I think that we both understand the pain of being judged and have both felt like outcasts at times. I think that makes us more accepting of each other's choices. It seems to me like that is what a true "family" should be. A "real family" should support and encourage each other and love each other UNCONDITIONALLY.

So anyway, that is my soapbox for today. :) Later, I will post pictures of the Halloween decorations I put up yesterday. Big A says we now have a"real spooky haunted house!" Little A is not so sure about all the scary decorations, but she has mastered her Halloween greeting.... "trick, treat..eat!" Now I have to somehow try to convince her to try on her Halloween costume.. If you ask her what she will be for Halloween she says " back kikat". If you ask her to try on her black cat costume she says " NO!" and runs. Oh well, I still have a month to convince her to wear it... and I bet it will take that long, too.