There used to be a time when I thought I had my life all mapped out. My picture perfect plan. The goals I set, and one by one reached. With each goal that I reached, I thought I would be closer to my happy dream life. But then reality set in, and I realized that my perfect dream life doesn't exist.... at least I haven't found my dream life to be the perfect fairy tale life that I thought it would be. No, my life is far from perfect, in fact it has become very complicated. I don't think that I took into account that the perfect angelic children that I dreamed of may not turn out to be perfect or angelic after all. Turns out that they are actually humans with their own very strong personalities and ideas about things.... who knew. Also, I didn't take into account that my perfect career choice may not be so perfect either... When I'm actually working (hahaha) the hours are long and stressful and cases are oftentimes heart wrenching. And who knew that being an only parent would be so hard??? There is no one else to help make decisions, no one else as emotionally invested in my children as me, no one else to lean on when I am frustrated and worn out, no one to give me a night off. This is what I wanted, right? Yes, it is what I wanted. I am glad I have my perfect dream life, but sometimes, I wish it was just a bit easier....
Sometimes I wish that a very nice evening of reading "Charlie and the Glass Elevator" to my kids would end with me tucking them all into bed and kissing them sweetly goodnight, instead of Big A holding the door of the bathroom, and Little A busting into the bathroom, shoving her big sister's head into the wall and causing a "goose egg" knot on it. Then me finding that my son has stolen something from my room and hidden it under his pillow... That is not my ideal ending to a nice evening of reading... So much for my picture perfect life. Sheesh.
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