Well I tried earlier in the week to post about my kids' first day of school.... but I lost all that I had written... Boo! So I guess I will start over. Let's see.... school started bright and early Monday morning! Very early. The kids were all very excited!!!! Big A is now in First Grade! D is in Kindergarten with a new teacher! And Little A is now in Pre-K!!!!! She is soo proud to be a "Big Girl".... Every day this week, she has jumped out of bed and gotten herself dressed without even having to be told! She is soooo cute!! She walks all tall and proud into her new classroom, hangs her backpack under her cubby, and sits right down at the table--- ready for school. These kids are growing up so fast.... Little A will be 4 years old on Sunday... Crazy. I still think of her as my little baby. I look at her and I still see that little baby, but then she opens her mouth, starts talking, and I realize that she is now a little girl. My toddlers have all grown up. :( Kind of sad.
All in all, getting back into the school thing has not been too hard... although all week I have felt exhausted. Getting up early is NOT easy for me. By 8pm, I find myself yawning and wanting to crawl into bed... Of course, that doesn't happen, but it would be nice... This week I have also been battling a bad ear infection. I get them all the time, but they usually only last a couple of days. I am on my 5th day right now. This one just does not want to go away! The pain is bad enough, but the vertigo is what I really can't stand..... it sucks to wake up to a world that is spinning.
Despite my spinning head, and my early morning woes, my life is really going well these days!! I am so happy with the way things are going! I haven't felt this happy and giddy in quite a while. The Pixie is the reason. No drama, no manipulation, no games... just love and affection and laughing. That is what I needed all along. It is amazing how you don't realize how bad things were until you are exposed to something better. It is crazy how things work out. She was there right in front of me the whole time, and I was too busy wallowing in my drama to see it. I knew that I wasn't happy, but now I see just how unhappy I really was in my last relationship. I never want to feel that way again... I really really am getting attached to the Pixie! :) I will admit that I am still scared to let myself go completely. I am afraid to trust and fully open myself up.... but somehow I feel like I can trust her. I love her energy and her optimistic outlook on life. I love how she makes me feel about myself. I love looking at her beautiful face and touching her soft skin. I love being close to her and smelling her scent. I love feeling her body next to mine when we are lying in bed. I just love her.... Maybe I sound sappy and ridiculous, but that is the way I feel!! I don't want this feeling to end. I want to savor every moment and completely feel it. I want to wrap myself up in these feelings and feel safe and warm and in love. And that is just what I intend to do. I am happy. Very happy. And this feels right. This feels real. It feels like this is supposed to be.
No comments:
Post a Comment