Ohhh. I have the worst headache this morning... It started last night. I am definitely getting a nasty cold. I have been very lucky this winter-- I avoided getting all of the illnesses that have been circulating so far, but I think one finally got me. My head hurts, my chest hurts my throat hurts, and snot is running from my nose... I had a fever early this morning, but I think it is gone now. But the headache is what is driving me crazy... My children seem to be extra loud this morning. The more I tell them to be quiet, the louder they seem to get. If I didn't have an appointment this morning, I would make them all go back to bed and stay there all day... or at least for an hour, so I could have some peace... But, instead I have to get up soon and get ready for a long day of errands. To top it off, I think I am having major PMS. Not a good combination. Maybe the ibuprofen I took will kick in soon, and I will be able to function.
I am in a horrible mood today. The morning started off very badly- on top of feeling like shit, I got in a fight with Sheila. Par for the course... We can't seem to get along for more than a week at a time... Guess that should be a clue. Will I ever have a "successful" relationship? I doubt it. I truly don't think that two women can have a successful long term relationship-- way too many hormones involved. Too bad I'm not straight. Men are much easier to get along with--- you get into a fight, you make up, and all is fine. Women hold grudges--- they stew and analyze, and play head games... It is crazy. No wonder I have been alone for so long-- life is much simpler that way. I'm sure we will make up at some point, but my feelings were really hurt this morning, and, as a woman, I am sure that I will hold onto that and not let it go.... I will file it away, and it will become one more brick in the wall that keeps me from ever having a successful relationship... I will start to become distant and pull away like I always do. I know my pattern. It has been a long time, but things don't seem to have changed much for me. I am definitely damaged.
Now that I have had a little pity party for myself, let me get up and get going--- I have got to get a haircut, new tires, a new microwave, go to cheer leading, go grocery shopping, and countless other errands.... also I think that I may have to perform a euthanasia--- just another rainy Saturday....
2 comments:
Hey - Sorry to hear you are getting sick. If you are anywhere near a GNC, get some Grapeseed Extract pills and pop 50 mg 2-3 times a day. It's a concentrated antioxidant. Take the 1,000 mg. time-released Vitamin C, too.
I saw a wonderful therapist a few years ago, and she might could help you out. She herself has been in a long term gay relationship and she and her partner have twins, I think. Her name is Lee Kyser. Here is more about her: http://www.psychotherapyguild.com/Directory/kyser.html
Take care!
Dee
Yes, I agree that I need therapy... major therapy. But I still think that gay relationships, for the most part, never last. It is just too easy to give up and leave. Maybe if gays could legally marry, it would be different... But I doubt it. Lesbians, especially, tend to "fall in love" much too quickly. They tend "set up house" before even getting to know each other... I imagine that lesbians would just run out and get married after only dating for a month... then prompty divorce within 6 months... At least then there would be a financial cost for jumping into a relationshp... But I'm not the "marrying type", so I don't think it would apply to me anyway... :)
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