There are never enough hours in the day... Yesterday was a prime example of that. I had way too much scheduled... not by choice, just by circumstance. The school's Fall Festival was yesterday, then cam Big A's last soccer game, followed by Little A's end of the season soccer party, next was D's Cub Scout popcorn sale pick up (which I completely forgot to do), and finally, a potluck at my neighbor's house. I was exhausted by the time I came home last night. I didn't remember the popcorn thing until I woke up at 6 am with the realization in my head... Oops. Later today I have to call and apologize--- they stressed in several emails the importance of picking up the damn popcorn on Nov. 6..... Oh well. So Sorry. I don't think I would have made it over there in time anyway... Little A's party ran long. All I can say is that I am glad Nov. 6 is over.
Also, I took my frustration and stress out on Pixie yesterday. I got angry and yelled at her when I shouldn't have. I guess I jumped to conclusions and didn't listen to her... So now she is mad. I don't really have an excuse for getting angry. I let the stress of the events of this last week get to me, and I lashed out at her. Several things happened last week that caused me a lot of mental stress, but that was no excuse for me to lash out at her. I have apologized. Hopefully, she will forgive me for getting mad at her. She was only trying to help. I have got to learn to control my temper. I tend to bottle things up and then explode at the wrong people. That is my "challenge"... or I should say flaw. I've been doing better... just not yesterday. I'm sorry Pixie.
The biggest issue last week involved how D was treated on Thursday by the other kids... his sisters and the babysitter's son. I really don't want to write about the details now. It makes me so angry. I told the other Mothers at the potluck the story last night, and they were angered as well. I think (hope) my girls have realized that their actions toward their brother were wrong and will NOT be tolerated, I just hope the other child involved has consequences. If this happens again, there will be Hell to pay. Big A was not allowed to have a sleepover last night with her best friend because of her part in bullying her brother. She handled it well. She didn't even argue about it. Unfortunately her friend was not so understanding... she extremely disappointed to say the least. I just can not and will not tolerate bullying in my house---- especially by siblings. I hope that my girls realize this... I think Big A does, but Little A is hard to read. She has absolutely no impulse control and is easily influenced. Sometimes I feel like talking to her is like talking to a wall.... She does have compassion and empathy, but she also has a violent streak... She has always developed and matured in a "different" way than other children. She is somewhat of an enigma... She marches to her own beat--- since birth. She has puzzled me and worried me from the minute she was born, and I suspect she always will. I have said before that each one of my three children exponentially personifies different character "challenges" that I possess... maybe it is God's little payback to me... I don't know, but I definitely have my hands full with this brood. I have a hard enough time trying to deal with my own flawed personality. We are all a work in progress in this household.... that is for sure. But, I am up for the challenge. I have to be. There is no choice in the matter. I can't run from myself, and I certainly can't run from my children. I can't stick my head in the sand and pretend that things are perfect... I simply have to do my best....
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