The Joys Of Pharmacuticals And Family Time....

Boy, I have been soooo sleepy lately. It is becoming obnoxious. By 8:00 pm, I am ready for bed. Seriously. I begin a post and inevitably fall asleep with the computer in my lap. Unfortunately, I think I know the culprit. I started taking a new antidepressant (Cymbalta). And no.... I am not ashamed to admit it. The good news is that it has really helped me feel less depressed and anxious--- a big big improvement. The bad news is it seems to wipe me out by the end of the day. There are a few other side effects though. One is that I no longer have the desire to drink so much-- that's good because I was drinking way too much recently ( and as we all know, my family is VERY prone to alcoholism), but the bad thing is that when I do have just one or two drinks, I feel miserable--- I just simply do not enjoy it at all. A glass of wine or a margarita will just compounds my sleepiness. I have also noticed that I feel very unemotional... not only do I not feel the miserable sadness, but I really don't feel excited about anything. I am much more often in a good mood, but I feel just as happy being alone as I do with my friends or girlfriend. In a way I feel numb... like if I went back to my old life (before I started dating again), I wouldn't really be bothered too much. Don't get me wrong, I very much love the Pixie, and I really want to be her girlfriend, and I do miss her when I am not with her, but I no longer have the sense that I would be miserable if I were alone. I think that's a good thing.. right? I am not sure. It is a strange, disconnected feeling. The Pixie keeps asking me what's wrong... I keep telling her nothing is wrong-- nothing at all. That is the truth. My mood is very stable... maybe too stable? Who knows... but I am no longer feeling hopeless and anxious, and that suits me just fine.

Lately my business has been slow. Way too slow for comfort. I think I need something more stable. I think that I need to get a "real" job... working for a salary, benefits, etc. This is not really conducive to my personality, but I have 3 children to support and so I think I will have to bite the bullet.... at least until the economy gets better. I suppose I can do anything for a year. Right? Now, the goal is to find such a job. I have never seen a time when veterinary positions were so hard to come by. It is pretty scary. But something will come up---- soon I hope.

The kids have had a pretty good week, I think. Saturday morning Big A had her first real Daisy Scout meeting. The girls had lots of fun making "talking sticks" and learning the girl scout promise. It was a pretty cool little meeting. I think Big A is very excited about being part of the Girl Scouts. Here is a photo of the Troop:

Daisy Scouts 2009

D finally figured out that he could actually build things with his little work bench that Santa brought him last year... Here he is displaying his birdhouse proudly:

Handy Man, D

He also requested a desk in his room, so I moved a little table in there for him to use. He decorated his "desk" himself... The apples were a nice touch, but I told him he had to put them back in the bowl, because there is no food allowed in bedrooms....

D's Desk....

Friday was the school Book Parade... this is the big kickoff to the book fair every year. Last year, I wasn't able to go because I was working. But this year (because work is so slow) I got to go see the parade! It was really cute! Big A decided to make a T-shirt depicting the book her class would be representing in the parade. The book is called "Stone Soup" She designed and painted the shirt all by herself! She is so creative! Always coming up with something artistic to do. It is funny... she is both good at math and artistic... seems like a strange combination to me, but if she keeps it up, she will go far in life. Here are some photos from the Book Parade:

Big A's Stone Soup Shirt!!!

A Close Up...

Celery Girl!!!

So Proud!!!

Little A Was A Strawberry!
(Her book was "The Very Hungry Caterpillar")

She Painted It Herself!!!

D Was A Monkey!!!
(His book was "Selling Caps")

My Little Monkey Man!!!!

It was really fun to watch them strut down the hallway, all proud! They were all so cute! I am really glad that I got to watch. So many times I feel like I miss too much because of work, so I guess that is one positive to not working right now... We may end up homeless, but at least I can see my kids' school parade! :-)