Our Valentine's Day

Our Valentine's Day was good and bad-- The girls were very excited Valentine's Day morning, because they were each going to be having a class party. The night before, Big A made her own Valentine's for her friends-- she worked very hard on them... I dropped them off at school thinking that they would both have a great day... Boy was I wrong. When I picked them up, Little A said she had a good party, and had a box full of Valentines. When I got to Big A's class, I found that she was in time out, and her "After Care" teacher told me that she had not had a good day-- her pre-k teacher left a message that she needed to speak with me the next morning---never a good sign! Big A told me that Ms. Angela had thrown away her Valentine Box. When I asked why, she said she "can't remember"-- that is her standard response when she gets in trouble...



She told me on the way home that her "friends" had made fun of her --calling her a baby and saying that they weren't going to give her any Valentine's. she said that she had gotten mad and cried and screamed and that is why Ms. Angela had taken away her Valentine Box. I told her that something else must have happened for the teacher to do such an extreme thing as to take away her box. Of course Big A "couldn't remember" anything else happening. Yet again I explained to her that the reason the other kids pick on her and call her names is because they know that they can make her cry... I told her that the only way to make them stop, is not to react to the teasing-- she should simply walk away and go play with some other children who don't tease her, but do not cry about it-- that will only give them an excuse to tease her more. She told me that there are 5 specific children that make fun of her. I know that this is true, because every evening when I pick her up, these same children always run up to me and say things like " Big A cried today", " she was acting like a baby today", etc. The other day one of the boys actually ran up to me, pointed to the scar on his head and told me that Big A had done that to him--that I know is not true, because his dog cut him a few weeks ago. So, I said to him " so you are telling me that Big A hit you and put that scar on your head?" He said, "yes". I said " I thought your dog put that scar on you head, isn't that right?" And he actually looked me straight in my eyes and said "No, Big A did it" By this time, Big A was crying. I told him that Big A did not put that scar on is head, and I know for a fact that his dog did it and I took my girls and left the room. Looking back, I should have told him that is it not nice to tell lies and accuse people of things they didn't do. To be honest, that little story really pissed me off. I am so tired of these little kids tattling to me every time I go into the room. Next time it happens, I am going to tell them that I do not want to hear it anymore. If something happens during class time, they need to talk to their teachers not to me. I am also going to tell them that they have no right to call my child a baby and tease her, and if I continue to hear that this is happening, I am going to have to call their parents and have a talk with them. I am fed up with it. I spoke to the teacher about it, and she acknowledged that they were, indeed, trying to tease Big A, but she said she always stopped it immediately. Obviously, she has not stopped it completely... But I am going to , I guarantee it. Yes, I AM PISSED.

Anyway, the next day, I found out the rest of the story. A squabble broke out between Big A and these "friends" and Big A started crying and screaming, so the teacher told her to give her the box. Big A told the teacher that she was going to hit her! Then Big A threw the box at the teacher! I couldn't believe it. She has never threatened a teacher and she has not been violent in the past. The teacher agreed-- she said she never would have expected this type of behavior from her. She told me she thinks that something is really bothering her for her to act out in this way. I, of course, had a very long talk with Big A about this, and she said the only thing bothering her was the kids teasing her... I asked her why she threatened her teacher, and she said because she was mad at the kids. I am going to talk to her pediatrician to get some suggestions on what to do. There are other worrisome signs like some of her drawings lately, and the fact that she often complains of nausea lately. I don't know if she is stressed because of my recent trip, the adoption, or if it is something else. Maybe it is the kids teasing her, but whatever it is, I have to figure it out, before it escalates any further.

Anyway, the portion of Valentine's Day that the three of us spent together, was good. Below are some photos form our V-day.

Big A's Valentines

Little A's Valentines

The Girls Playing With Their Doll Bed

The Girls Got Me These Valentine Gifts!!!

I am very worried about Big A. She does not handle her emotions well. She never has, but she seemed to be getting much better this school year. In the last month, though, she has been having more meltdowns and has been worrying more about things. I have been stressed too, so I don't know if she has been feeling my stress and it has been spilling over onto her , or what. But, even though she is a challenging girl, and she can be quite the drama queen, she is a very good girl. She does not deserve the teasing she is getting at school.